There is more to getting plastered in Prague than just a stag-night paradise of cheap, excellent beer a short plane ride away from London.
The old city of Prague was clearly designed by architects who were in rebellion against dullness. It is an extravaganza of Gothic, Romanesque, Baroque and Art Nouveau, crammed with towers, steeples, belfries, balconies, belvederes, archways, niches, domes, gilded cupolas, statues in groupolas, gables, café tables, and fables since even the outsides of town houses are often decorated with friezes painted on the plaster. Buildings juxtapose the colours of ice-cream – banana, pistachio and strawberry. The bridges over the wide river Vltava are loaded with sculptured saints and heroes, and on every corner Rococo Virgins swing their babies into the air. The old streets are still cobbled, the spires are bobbled and knobbled. As Oscar Wilde said, nothing succeeds like excess.
Even the weather was radiant for the visit of President Obama last weekend: the crowds of early tourists were plastering on their suncream, and the rifled and bayoneted guards at the state palace were glad of their peaked caps to shield them from the glare. Police with sniffer-dogs were inspecting the city centre the day before the President arrived, and a platform was erected outdoors in front of the old bishop’s palace for a crowd of thousands to hear him give a speech. We saw his helicopter take off a few hours afterwards.
There is lots to do in Prague – the streets are plastered with posters telling you about what is going on. A trip up the river on a boat, with or without dinner and jazz, is a marvellous way to see the cityscape and appreciate the silhouette of the Gothic cathedral and the old castle on its peak. Another good way to see the town is to just sit on a tram and go round and round. You cannot get lost - when you get to the terminus, just take another tram back. Public transport is still cheap: three pounds for an all-day ticket. “Attractive” tickets are half price, but this does not mean they charge less for beautiful people; it’s how they translate concessions. So Liz Hurley will have to go full fare until she is 65.
The Easter market in the central square is rather jolly, with trees festooned with balloons and fake flowers, stalls selling pancakes, hot wine, klobasa (excellent Czech sausage), chocolate eggs, bunnies and toys as well as a lot of touristy junk. Prague has some original and unusual museums: a torture museum; a museum of the history of Communism with three sections (the dream, the reality, the nightmare); a Kafka museum which offers an insight into the dark and tortured mind of the paranoid Prague writer; and a museum of sex-machines, which offers an insight into the dark and tortured minds of people who make iron chastity-belts, and devices to prevent or facilitate masturbation (and yes, all these peculiar things are genuine). There is also a thoroughly delightful Mozart museum, set in a pretty little 18th-century house in the suburbs, surrounded by trees where the birds plainly have operatic training. Mozart spent a lot of time in Prague, and the production of The Magic Flute at the plushy, atmospheric, Baroque Prague opera house last Saturday night was simply perfect.
Beer, yes, you can get it, and this is the only place I have ever visited where some of the set menus offer you a beer with the food. But we’re not only here for the beer. There is also the pleasant Czech white wine and for special occasions Bohemia sekt, their own excellent champagne-type fizz, modestly-priced. The traditional food is heavy but tasty. Czech goulash is flavoured with spice, with no tomato, and served with steamed dumplings. Roast pork and barbecued ham are superb. In the old Jewish quarter we ate veal at a restaurant named The Gollema after a legendary monster, created by a Rabbi who dabbled in magic. On our last night we enjoyed Jewish-style carp at a terrace restaurant called the Bistro Vinarna, in Jindrisska street, which was recommended to us by a lady who kept an antique shop, and it well deserved all her praise. Go there if you can! It is near the mediaeval landmark Henry’s Tower.
The new Prague looks just like everywhere else, with its apartment blocks, Tesco, and American-style burger-bars. The old Prague by a miracle survived WW2 and will need another miracle to survive modern pollution. Let us hope that it does.
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